December 23, 2009

I said it. I really did say it. "We've had enough trouble with transportation this week. We've filled our quota; Nothing bad is going to happen on this train ride."

The train proved me wrong.

We boarded at 9:00 AM. We were JUST outside our stop at 3:00 PM when the train stopped moving. After half an hour of confusion, the train attendants told us that a drawbridge had gotten stuck in upwards position, keeping us from moving, and that the mechanics expected to be moving again in an hour. I just took out my DS and started playing, waiting. I checked my watch. Two hours.

Another hour later and they told us (in fancier terms) that the mechanics had no idea how to fix the bridge, so they called in a better mechanic from an hour drive away. I expected us to move again in about two hours.

8:00 came. People were starting to get pretty crazy, both from stress and from the train's supplied alcohol. So around that time, my parents and I were surrounded by drunken rednecks on a stationary train.

Oh noes.

In a world... there is a train.... with drunken rednecks on it!

Drunken rednecks! ON A TRAIN!

Yes, bad joke referring to "Snakes on a Plane". It was too available.

Anyway, people were starting to get kind of irate. They were beginning to yell at the train attendants, demanding to know exactly what was going on. But they cleverly avoided these questions with half-truths and not-quite-answers.

As it turned out, by about 10:30 they were handcranking the bridge down. The first two thoughts to come to mind:
1. Are they video taping it so it can go up on YouTube?
2. Well, why didn't they just do that in the FIRST place?

We got to moving again at 11:00. Pulled in under five minutes later.

UNDER. FIVE. MINUTES.

UGH.

We could have WALKED to this place if they'd let us.

Incidentally, there was another train not far behind us, so we couldn't move backwards either.

So let's recap our time information!

Time spent on the train: 14 hours
Length of our expected trip: 5 hours
Time spent stationary: 9 hours
Time the train ran out of alcohol: 7:30 PM
Time that I spent completely patient: 11.5 hours
Time that I was experiencing allergic reactions (itchy, watery eyes and lots of sneezing and runny nose) to who-knows-what: 12 hours